


It’s Been a While

by ObtuseOctopus



Series: Living in Hue [9]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23249545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObtuseOctopus/pseuds/ObtuseOctopus
Summary: • COMPLETE. •Steven comes to visit Lapis, needing to have a talk with her.
Relationships: Bismuth/Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: Living in Hue [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615498
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	It’s Been a While

“- I don’t know, I just feel… bad for bothering you.”

“Bothering me?” Lapis snorted. “You’re saving me if anything.” She leaned in slightly, her voice near a mumble as she spoke past clenched teeth, “I can only handle seven hours of sanity around children, Steven.”

“Seriously?” Steven laughed as Lapis pulled away. “You seem to be doing pretty well around the gemlings.”

“Yeah, that’s what it looks like. But by the end of this week? I would’ve lost it at least three times.”

Steven awkwardly smiled. “Oh… that’s… wonderful.”

Lapis snickered. “Life of a mom I guess…” she shrugged, pulling the tarp aside to open up some air and sunlight into her home. “It’s something all right.”

“Is it?” Steven asked, wanting to be polite in the conversation.

“Yeah. I mean- Emily is the most fussy, but Pea is the most hungry. So I have to make sure I feed them before they start crying. Three times a day actually.”

“They sound a bit like humans, huh?”

“Sort of. They just… eat whatever,” Lapis said, stepping inside. She held the tarp up for Steven, waiting until he was inside before she propped the tarp up with a large stick. “I have Peridot watching them today. So… what’s wrong?”

Steven sighed. “It’s… nothing bad, just something that’s been bothering me.” He took a seat on the couch that sat in the middle of the small makeshift household.

“Hmm. I see.”

“It’s… about this… well, you’re a mom now. And I… just wanted to ask you what it’s like; you know, raising kids and all.”

Lapis raised a brow. “Um… okay?” She laughed. “Rather weird, but… alright.”

“I know it’s weird, I just-“

“It’s fine. It’s… new, to say the least,” Lapis explained. “Being a mom is so… tiring. I never even thought I’d ever be one. Homeworld has never had this happen before- not in their records at least.”

Steven bit his bottom lip. As far as he knew, maybe there had been records that were destroyed during the War. But he didn’t mention it. “And you and Peridot and Bismuth? When did you get married?”

Lapis looked flustered. Her cheeks turned navy blue. “Oh-! We…” she trailed off, scratching the back of her head, “we aren’t married, Steven.”

“What?!” Steven was genuinely surprised. “But you guys are so close! And you have kids!”

“Yeah, but… it’s something we agreed wouldn’t happen. Not for a long time anyway. None of us are ready for that.” Lapis stared into space, taking a seat beside Steven and resting her elbow on the arm of the couch. “Us having gemlings was just… fate. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I could, if you’d tell me.”

Lapis refused. “I think Greg or Pearl are better off explaining it. It doesn’t even matter if we aren't married. Emily and Pea still are being raised safely. That’s all I want, honestly.”

“How could you have kids with someone if you’re not even married to them? Don’t you have to agree on it?”

Lapis looked uncomfortable. “Steven, please,” she begged, wanting him to change topic.

Steven noticed her tension, and he backed off. “Oh-... I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s just…” Lapis rubbed her face. “... Yeah, we aren’t married, we have gemlings, and…” she struggled. “... It wasn’t something we all agreed on at first.”

“Huh?”

“It just… happened. But now we’re here and… we’re just doing what we can.”

Steven paused for a moment.

“So.” Lapis forced herself to straighten up. “Is that all you came here for?”

Steven shook his head. “If you want the honest truth- I came here because I wanted to know what having a mom was like.”

Lapis’ eyes went wide. She stared at him, taken aback by the reply. 

“I know it’s weird to say that out loud, you’re my friend, all my friends are moving on without me making new friends or having families, and I’m still here doing nothing,” Steven vented. “Connie has this amazing relationship with her mom, and after all that’s happened… honestly, I just wish I had a mom that wasn’t… so…”

“Hey-“ Lapis reached out, placing a hand on Steven’s shoulder. He was still bandaged up from recent events involving his well being, so she was careful not to put too much pressure on him. “-Steven, it’s okay.”

“I just wish I had a mom; someone who could play football with me, someone who could’ve kissed me when I was hurt, someone to take me to school and make these adorable little lunches that would make me feel so happy inside to read the note inside, someone to take me to a doctor and help me feel better-...” Steven trembled. “The mom I had wasn’t here for me. Even if she could be, she was just… this horrible being who caused a huge war and left me to take care of everything. I wish I was a normal human boy.”

“Well… being a Gem isn’t so bad,” Lapis said.

“You don’t know that! You aren’t me, Lapis. You don’t know what it’s like.” Steven turned away.

Silence.

Lapis kept her gaze on him, worried.

“You don’t know what it’s like constantly living in fear of dying… doing things other people my age shouldn’t even be doing right now…” Steven quietly said. “I’m almost an adult, and I’m afraid of the world.”

“... You're right,” Lapis agreed. “I don’t know what it’s like.”

Steven glanced back at her.

“I… don’t know anything besides imprisonment for years,” Lapis started, “and being fused for so long. But… Steven, if it’s anything you taught me, it’s that the past is the past.” She scooted a bit closer to him. “I can’t do anything about all the bad things I did. The bad things I went through… I’m still not good around water, but… Steven, you have the now. And I’m here for you if you need it.” She held her arms out. “Is… this okay?” She questioned with uncertainty.

Steven had to take a second to respond, but eventually he nodded. Once given permission, Lapis embraced him in a hug. 

“I know it sucks; it still haunts you even if it happened so long ago. You’re… traumatized, sometimes to the point that certain places or noises give you these memories. And sometimes, it’s hard to sleep at night. There’s people you can never forgive, even if other people do. Sometimes you feel trapped, alone, scared. But… you’ve shown me that with just the right support, things can be okay.”

“Will they ever be okay?” Steven croaked.

Lapis refused to let go, even feeling a bit of sorrow ache in her chest when Steven returned the hug. 

“... I promise,” Lapis assured. “I’m here for you, Steven. We all are.”


End file.
